Normally when I start these, I like to have some sort of an idea of what I’m writing about. Today is not the case, since the movie I have here to review is so bad, this it’s one of those movies that I can’t write down all the criticisms I have for the bloody thing, so here I go off the record for one of the worst movies I have ever seen: The Human Centipede 2. Trust me when I say that this is a movie without a single redeeming quality. Literally, I sat there for the 88 minutes the movie runs for, and I couldn’t believe what I was watching. For those who are fortunate enough not to have seen the first movie, The Human Centipede is a film directed by Tom Six, a man who is a lover of torture porn movies ( based on the two films I have seen by him, there couldn’t be another explanation). His goal when he created these movies was the make the sickest movies of all time, but the problem there is that you sacrifice story and a coherent narrative in favor for gross out gags. The first film was about two American girls visiting Germany when they become lost in the German woods and find shelter to a former Nazi surgeon. This Nazi guy is looking to create the world’s first Human centipede, three human beings connected mouth to anus. Why do something like this? Who knows, the movie never gives a reasoning behind his mad idea, we just have to sit there and except everything on screen. The director never gives a good reason for a film like to this to exist, but maybe that was the intension, I wouldn’t know, don’t care enough to find out. Then comes his second part of his twisted trilogy (yes, there is a third one coming out next year), and I didn’t think it could get any worse, but the director proved me wrong on that front. I was very curious about seeing the movie because of what people were saying about it, how it is truly the sickest film ever made. And I’m sure that this was the plan behind Tom Six’s second Centipede movie, he wanted people to just talk about it, and get the stupid thing noticed, not realizing that his film was so horrendous, that the next few months after its release was nothing but ridicule and verbal destruction of the movie. But I suppose the director doesn’t care what people think, he certainly has made plenty of money off these movies, so who cares what audience members think. The Human Centipede 2 can have a little credit for taking the franchise into a completely new direction, as this one has a completely different feel, tone, and look from the first one. The first one was more of a psychological thriller with some gore, and this one is a torture porn film with about as much gore as you can fit into a 88 minute film. The film is in black and white, which the director had stated he though the black and white made the film much more scary (sorry to break the news to you, but it didn’t work). The film follows a man by the name of Martin, played by first time actor Laurence R. Harvey, who to his credit does a decent job creating a mad man of epic scale. This is a guy who has no redeeming factors as a person, but the film still tries to make us feel sorry for him, but Tom creates characters who are worse than he is, to an almost unrealistic level, I have never seen more unredeemable people in a movie before, aside from anything Pauly Shore has done. Martin has become obsessed with the first film, which is a film in this universe, and believes he can create a 12 person centipede by studying the first film over and over again. Martin spends his time as a parking garage security officer, where he kidnaps people for his experiment…oh god, are you reading this? I can’t even understand the purpose of doing this review, the title alone should tell you everything you need to know about it. It’s called The Human Centipede 2, does that sound like an Oscar winning film to you? I can’t go into any details about the deaths in the movie, but trust me when I say that the film deserves the NC-17 rating it has. Martin is a character that I can’t sympathize with, all the characters around him have no personality or character development aside from all of them are evil, and the gore gets so silly by the end, that you will be laughing more than screaming, the director pushes the gore so hard that it ends up being ridiculous when the film ends. Be a good boy or girl, and rent something else, this film is not worth your time or money, but why you purchase something called the Human Centipede 2, unless you head was recently caved in by a passing anvil.