This book had me from the very beginning and continued to hold my attention until I finished it in one sitting. It’s intense and dark and quite disturbing at some points. And it should be, since this book deals with a serious topic: suicide. Both Aysel and Roman want to kill themselves for different reasons. They find the Suicide Partner they need in each other and decide to end their lives on April 7th. Through their interactions Aysel begins to look at her life from a new angle and question her choices.

I like the protagonist Aysel; she can be both depressed and snarky in a single paragraph. The author creates an obviously clinically depressed teenager but steers away from the precocious, brooding type who thinks way too much and way too deep. She creates authenticity through some of Aysel’s realistic and sarcastic comments and thoughts. Aysel is also likable throughout the book because she’s not selfish or too absorbed in her pain. She cares for her little stepbrother and gives him a great birthday present. She also sees the good in everybody and frets over breaking Roman’s mom’s heart (you know, when they kill themselves). One big reason Aysel has for committing suicide is to prevent her from becoming like her violent, convicted father. She’s convinced she is crazy because she still misses her father despite of what he did. Roman is also another very developed character. When the author first describes him as a typically hot boy, I groaned a little, because it smells of insta-love and other regrettable YA miscalculations. Several chapters later I’m won over. He’s not the gorgeous dumb jock even though he’s good at basketball; Jasmine Warga creates a deep, sweet guy who’s great at sketching. Roman blames himself for an accident that killed his kid sister and believes he doesn’t deserve to live.

The author crafts a beautiful story that does not take depression or suicide lightly. She compares depression to a black slug inside depressed people that sucks away all the positive feelings. She also emphasizes on the importance to talk to others instead of bottling up all the emotions. About 3/4 into the book there’s a quite poignant scene when Aysel confronts her mother about her father and they reveal their true feelings to each other, shocked to find meanings in their silence entirely different from what they conjectured. Talking to others gives us perspective on our problems and allows us to think about things in a different way. That’s what family and friends are for. This book manages to create real, warm people that care about the main character (even the perfect Barbie stepsister tries to communicate with Aysel). I am also seriously impressed with how Warga can combine Physics into an emotional book. The main character Aysel loves physics instead of English (Wow, big surprise considering all the other sensitive, deep characters we’ve seen) and likes to contemplate about potential and kinetic energy. Where does the kinetic energy go when we die? She asks. Einstein’s Theory of Relativity also shows up to teach us how a different perspective means everything. Warga takes dry Physics and apply it to everyday life in a poetic way.

The pacing of this book is just right. Limiting the entire book to one month ensures it proceeds gradually instead of dragging on like broom through mud. There are enough things packed into the short period to guarantee every moment has some meaning to it. Warga masterfully controls the gradual changes in Aysel and Roman and the unfolding of of the final ending. Even though the book ends in a surprising way, it does not feel too forced or abrupt.
My Heart and Other Black Holes is a lovely book that gives you something to think about. It is dark like a black hole in some places, but it ultimately spans out into a hopeful tale of two teenagers who wanted to find someone to die with but instead found someone to be alive with, to paraphrase Aysel.