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I'm already dead.

if I had
only one day
would I sob
would I mourn
in an infinite ocean
of tears
and have the will
to lift my feeble hand
and utter
"goodbye"?

if I had one day
would I contemplate
over who I'll become
in that life
miles and miles
away
what was my karma
who do I deserve
who can I be
and never again
experience being
me

I have one day
after feats of
chemo
and heart stopping
pessimism
from oncologists
who told me
"we're here to help!"
they muttered
with a voice of
a broken record
"4 months to live"
and the end of the 4 months
is here

cancer
causes my screams of agony
of anguish and
sorrow and
utter despair
is here to grab me
by the hand
steal my soul
and pass it on
to an empty mortal

and nothing could be done to stop it.

time to go.

my breath heaves and hulls
farther and farther
from this unstoppable force
impervious to the world
impenetrable to life's malicious desires

I'm gone





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