the bittersweet memories flood my mind
the way you looked at me
the way you smiled

i do everything i can to push away the pain
take another shot
cut a little deeper

in a trance, i drift to simpler days when nothing mattered
mud on my shoes
PB&J for lunch

but i can’t forget an entire chapter of my life
our first date 
the last time we kissed

my body aches from the pain its enduring
headaches that drain me
bruises ever growing

starving the feelings to make everything better
hunger is just applause
food is the enemy 

but i know my anesthetics will only hurt me in the end
scars i can never remove
bones that protrude

i look towards the lighter, brighter days
a laugh with a friend
pancakes for dinner

it’s all i have to keep me going.