they say, just stop.
they ask, whywhywhy.
they say, stop looking for attention.
they scream, just die.

but she can’t answer,
because none of it is true;
and so she jumps into this safety
she could never find in you.

she trapped herself slowly,
a prisoner of her own misery
she crawls into again and again;
bound to this comforting insanity.

it’s the only thing she has
to suspend her to the ground,
connect her to the earth,
and keep her from falling down.

and she silences her screams
as cold reality hits her to the bone;
what’s in comes out quietly,
and leaves her all alone.

and she hides behind a smile,
but smiles can lie;
because she says she is free,
but she can’t really fly.

the only way she knows to cope,
she numbs herself day after day
needing to give pain more pain;
though she’ll never say.

she says it’s not death;
it actually makes her feel alive
because she has nothing else
through all the deprive.

she says she’s not worth it,
just let me fall away softly.
she says she can’t do this anymore,
so please don’t catch me.

and they ask, why do you hurt.

but maybe if she hurts enough
she won’t have to try
to learn any other feeling.
she will never have to cry.