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Injustice

Injustice is a force of nature
Written in the bones of Earth
Spilled in every ounce of blood
Cursing every human birth
Companion of the rich and poor
Closing eyes and shutting doors
Laughing at the time of peace
Dancing at the time of war
The soldier's eyes have seen the fear,
Of God but did not recognize,
The face of man has wet the dark
With broken tears from broken eyes

Yet injustice is a name of grace,

For God loved me and took my place





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Nguyenkhanhtran said...
Aug. 19, 2012 at 2:33 am
this poem...aptly sums up some of our emotions on injustice, the flow is smooth, it allows me to dive into the piece. Even though injustice may be so, soldiers who dies, so suddenly, so unexpected- is a paradox in itself. Many became one through a vow- made out of love, they are placed on our world's frontline, to take the tolls of our actions. They bought us time to think. But hope, yes, that final line of your poem, is that stepping stone. In those injustices, there are light inside them t... (more »)
 
PaigeStreet This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 22, 2012 at 1:44 am
Beautiful interpritation, Nguyenkhanhtran. You grace my poem with such an expansive and radical application. Thank you.
 
leafyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 19, 2011 at 9:38 am
I'm almost speechless. Almost. I adore sonnets, but usually they're rhyming is terrible, and to try to make it okay, the author sacrifices the flow. But you did not, the rhyming is subtle, flow is excellent, and I especially loved the lines "laughing at the time of peace/dancing at the time of war." My only issue is that in line 9, it should be "soldiers' eyes have seen the fear" or "soldier's eyes has seen the fear," for subject verb agreement. Overall, simply lovely 4.5/5
 
PaigeStreet This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 19, 2011 at 12:24 pm
:O good point
 
Love.Hate.Passion. said...
Oct. 7, 2011 at 8:10 pm

This was beautiful!

It rhymed consistently and flowed very nicely. You seriously have a gift here , it's amazing. I really loved this poem and I like what you meant by it.

5 Stars!

 

 
PaigeStreet This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 25, 2011 at 2:01 pm
Thank you so much. That means a ton.
 
cowgirl4everThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 1:18 pm

This is a great poem!! It has a nice flow to it, and...I just love everything about it! I like how you used metaphors, and of course, I love the last line.

 I like how the poem defines injustice, vividly, but also brings hope at the end-the ultimate Hope that we have.

 It's always encouraging to find a poem like this. 

It's well written! (:

 
PaigeStreet This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 25, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Hey, thanks! We all need Hope sometimes. :)
 
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