The Living Dead

July 15, 2011
By Anonymous

Living in a world filled with silent tears
Breaking through the pain still I remain
Day after day trying to face my fears
Running from the rain it's hard for me to abstain
Drive by shootings surrounding my dead streets
Skeletons are the victims with no inner peace
Finished off, I've already faced defeat
Waiting impatiently to be released
My sorrow crys turn to tears of joy
Viewing this place I never seen before
Though my soul I know can not destroy
For only the Lord knows what lays ashore
The breath of my city was black and gray
Its funny how that just faded away


The author's comments:
I was inspired by the things that I witness in day to day life. I hope people see that we can change our communities and stop all the violence.

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This article has 3 comments.


Atarla GOLD said...
on Jul. 25 2011 at 12:42 pm
Atarla GOLD, Portland, Oregon
11 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everything happens for a reason, And nothing is without one

=)  Your very welcome, and ok.

on Jul. 23 2011 at 8:33 pm
Highlyblessed_ BRONZE, Ruleville, Mississippi
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Never settle for the average because there are bigger and greater things waiting for your arrival"

Thank you so much for reading my poem and for the feedback. Will space out my next poem I promise :-)

Atarla GOLD said...
on Jul. 22 2011 at 3:45 pm
Atarla GOLD, Portland, Oregon
11 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everything happens for a reason, And nothing is without one

This poem is anmazing! I love the words you choose to express the violence.

My favorite part is: "Drive by shootings surrounding my dead streets, Skeletons are the victims with no inner peace"

My only concern like I say alot is the structure of it. try to post your poems in a matter simmilar to this:

Living in a world filled with silent tears
Breaking through the pain still I remain
Day after day trying to face my fears
Running from the rain it's hard for me to abstain

Drive by shootings surrounding my dead streets
Skeletons are the victims with no inner peace
Finished off, I've already faced defeat
Waiting impatiently to be released

My sorrow crys turn to tears of joy
Viewing this place I never seen before
Though my soul I know can not destroy
For only the Lord knows what lays ashore

The breath of my city was black and gray
Its funny how that just faded away

 

This way it's easier for the readers to know how the flow is suppose to be and what is suppose to rhyme with what. Just a suggest tho.

other the that keep up tha amazing writing =)



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