Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

Mr. Unemployed

Custom User Avatar
More by this author
His jeans have holes,
His shoes are well worn.
His head's hung low,
His spirit is torn.
His hair is greasy,
His face paints a frown.
His heart is broken,
His spirit is down.
His hands are scarred,
His eyes filled with tears,
His body displays the pain.
He's lived with for years.
His wallet is empty,
His house was foreclosed.
His dreams are demolished,
His mind consumed with woes.
His body is weary,
His faith has been shaken.
His bills are unpaid,
His job was taken.
His life has been altered,
His future he'll rewrite.
His world's a struggle,
His every day's a fight.




Join the Discussion


This article has 55 comments. Post your own!

Stleemusic said...
Mar. 21, 2012 at 9:25 am:

this poem relly speaks to me keep writing

 

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
AbandonedSoul said...
Dec. 24, 2011 at 5:15 pm:
It is definitely a decent poem, but how is this a sonnet?
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
brynnibooo said...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 8:19 pm:
This is pretty good. You have a good idea here.  would add some more imagery. "His hair is greasy, his face paints a frown." is good! I can clearly picture it! but in poetry there are words are more "telling us" rather than "showing us". I would maybe change words like "broken" "empty" and "fight". "shaken" is a really good word in this poem! Also, I really like the ending four lines! Very powerful! If you wouldn't mind, I would love for you to read and rate some of my poems! -Keep Writing!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Desti_B said...
Nov. 10, 2011 at 8:49 pm:
lol...one word...BOOM! lol...i read it and i was lliterally like..it couldn't be better...i love the rhyme scheme and the message is a realistic one....a bit sad tho..but good non the less...
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Lexie96 said...
Nov. 3, 2011 at 7:48 pm:

This is really good and gives a very good picture of this man... great job.

Check out my work if you get the chance?

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
matt h said...
Apr. 6, 2011 at 11:54 am:
Very deep poem, I could invision this! Great job man!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Poetry4EverThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 1, 2010 at 10:41 am:
Hey, you posted a comment on one of my poems and I thought that I'd just come see some of yours.... You are a very good writer and I hope that you will continue to wright throughout your whole life.... Don't ever stop if it's something you love... I have been there and done that and I don't think that you should have to go through that.... I'm goona be posting new poems soon...... Come check 'em out....Thanx
 
bluemagnet22 replied...
Aug. 1, 2010 at 11:13 pm :
Hey, thank you so much for checking out my work! I enjoyed your work also...you'll have to let me know your work gets posted!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
ShenelleCrystalx3 said...
Jun. 18, 2010 at 3:01 pm:

Very deep , your AMAZING !

I love ALLLLLLLLL your pieces

 
bluemagnet22 replied...
Jun. 21, 2010 at 11:28 am :
Thank u so much:) this happens to be one of my own fav pieces...it was actually published in my local magazine!
 
ShenelleCrystalx3 replied...
Jun. 21, 2010 at 12:31 pm :
omg ! congrats :)
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
RaV3n said...
Apr. 14, 2010 at 9:01 am:
Very deep, and tells what really these people go through but for them its normal and for people who are lucky sometimes just dont understand
 
bluemagnet22 replied...
Apr. 21, 2010 at 12:22 pm :
Thank you. I see what being unemployed does to people first hand...and I wanted to share their pain with the people who are lucky and don't have to deal with such stress. So thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my poem...It's truly appreciated:)
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
9CatsPerLife101 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 23, 2010 at 10:34 am:
uhm wow ok this isn't a bad poem, not at all, but with 40 comments i expected everyone to talk about how deep it was, if it was, and now it's like a chat room talking about something other than the poem. sorry but i don't think this deserves to eb on the most commented list. but it's a decent poem.
 
bluemagnet22 replied...
Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:41 am :
Well read my other poems that have lots of comments n they aren't just casual chatting
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Joyful_angel said...
Jan. 2, 2010 at 4:28 pm:
I LOVED THIS CHRISTMAS!!! I GOT A BF!!! if i didnt get anything else, that wulda been fine! i got him, and thats all i needed.
 
bluemagnet22 replied...
Jan. 7, 2010 at 10:27 am :
Awe thats the best gift lol
 
Joyful_angel replied...
Jan. 7, 2010 at 6:24 pm :
he makes me so happy
 
bluemagnet22 replied...
Jan. 8, 2010 at 2:39 pm :
how did u two meet?
 
Joyful_angel replied...
Jan. 9, 2010 at 3:08 pm :
he goes to my skool...and we got 2 b friendz, and we rlly hit it off!! now hez the love of my life
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Site Feedback