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I saw you today,
But you're not as I remember.
Your eyes no longer sparkle,
You've changed since last September.

You were so full of life,
Yet now you are so cold.
Your personality has tarnished,
When you once had a heart of gold.

You fell out of my life,
Just like leaves in the fall.
We were so very close,
Now you're not here at all.

You saw me today,
I'm the same as you remember.
My eyes still sparkle,
I've not changed since last September.



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IfLifeGivesYouLemons This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 7, 2012 at 7:11 pm:
It's a greay poem...but it's not a sonnet. There isn't a defined meter to it, and (please correct me if I'm wrong) I believe the rhyming pattern is wrong. It's an excellent piece of writing, but it's in the wrong category. 
 
grace1017 replied...
Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:28 pm :
You're right! This isnt a sonnet. A true sonnet has iambic pentameter. Which means the each line has ten syllables each. A true sonnet also has 3 stanza's and one closing statement with two lines. The first stanza needs to have a problem. The second is for when the problem gets worse and the third is a possible solution. The last two lines in the closing statement are for the solution. ALL LINES MUST HAVE TEN SYLLABLES EACH. (I did all caps to make it obvious or something... i dunno.)&nb... (more »)
 
DreamingOfNirvana replied...
Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:51 pm :
Well you can still have a sonnet without the iambic pentameter can't you? I just learned about sonnets in honors english and the iambic pentameter and stuff but our teacher told us that we could write a sonnet without that. Do they ALL NEED THAT EVERY TIME?
 
urbanhippieyo replied...
Feb. 1, 2013 at 12:42 am :
Sonnets are comprised of 14 lines consisting of iambic pentameter.
 
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MidnightWriter This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 3, 2012 at 2:02 am:
I met a friend on the city bus a week and a half ago. I hadn't spoken much to him in over a year. I guess he gave up on me. Anyway, I understand that lifeless feeling we see in someone's eyes. It's like looking into the face of a stranger, even though we used to know almost everything about them; we don't anymore. They don't know us. We have to leave it that way. 
 
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Chloenhearts said...
Dec. 2, 2012 at 7:16 pm:
Im not sure if you turned this in for a grade in school, but your poem was amazing. And sad. lol. But your rhyme scheme was off and so was the lines in the paragraphs. Soo I kind of changed your poem a little and hopefully you wont care if I turn it in as a grade. So it goes: (line 1)I saw you today, but youre not as I remember. (line 2) Your eyes no longer smile (line 3) Youve changed since last september (Line 4) I would travel for that old you miles and miles. 2nd paragraph: (Line 1) In my ... (more »)
 
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CallMeAlex98 said...
Nov. 8, 2012 at 12:14 pm:
I feel the same way about my ex-bestfriend. 
 
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Lea28 said...
Nov. 2, 2012 at 12:38 pm:
This is so good. Keep it up !
 
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dotsonboy99 said...
Nov. 1, 2012 at 11:12 am:
this was a very unique and well written.
 
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littlekittynekocat said...
Oct. 26, 2012 at 10:54 am:
when i recently started school this year i came back and my cousin who i love dearly who comes to my school has begun to dis life and i am afraid of losing her
 
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TheSkyOwesMeRainThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 2, 2012 at 7:24 pm:
aww :( I know what that feels like!
 
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The_Quiet_Girl said...
Sept. 28, 2012 at 10:07 am:
what a sad poem :/ i can relate to this
 
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ZeesrockThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 17, 2012 at 9:24 pm:
What a beautifully sad poem! This is similar to what happened to someone I thought i knew.... Keep up the great work!!
 
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jaclynpee said...
Sept. 14, 2012 at 6:55 pm:
My ex best friend and i stopped talking about a year ago.  This poem reminds me of a few weeks ago i seen her walking, she looked so miserable.  
 
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jaclynpee said...
Sept. 14, 2012 at 6:55 pm:
My ex best friend and i stopped talking about a year ago.  This poem reminds me of a few weeks ago i seen her walking, she looked so miserable.  
 
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SmokyRoseThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 3, 2012 at 5:58 pm:
I love how it's so simple and quiet. It gives the perfect feeling of the sadness we feel when someone close has changed and we're left alone.
 
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Sweetie2toCute said...
Aug. 8, 2012 at 9:44 pm:
i really like this poem because it reminds me alot of myself and how ppl feel bout me and how ived changed. but as people only see wats on the outside as to wat we feel on the inside.
 
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NinaQThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 7, 2012 at 7:40 am:
I favorited this 2 years ago, i come back upon this again and it is just as beautiful, this is something I truely need to keep me away from someone who's held me back for the new sophmore school year <3 please keep writing and share with us
 
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missattitude said...
Jul. 21, 2012 at 6:29 pm:
I thought i was the only one who this had happened to... but thanks nice to know that i'm NOT alone!
 
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orangesliceThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 1, 2012 at 6:11 pm:
Wow, I love this. I had a friend like that, and it's nice to find something so relatable. Great work!
 
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ALovelyGirl said...
Jun. 21, 2012 at 2:20 pm:
I love how in the end you say you havent changed.
 
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