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Sonnet: Deranged

they came here and saw us for what we are
a primitive race, righteous and violent
they puzzled our ways for years from afar
watching our game of war, they stayed silent
then the time came when they could take no more
they wanted to end our impulse riot
they searched us humans, right down to the core
and what they heard; a scream so quiet
what they saw was worse; no words could compose
the dark that scarred them, that blinded their souls
they saw what we see, their eyes wouldn't close
an end in chaos; in fire and coals
they came and saved us, though we never changed
they had to prove that they weren't so deranged.



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This article has 15 comments. Post your own now!

EEKgirl said...
Oct. 16, 2013 at 10:51 pm
I love it! It's cynical, and yet beautiful. Good job!
 
emilybwrites said...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 3:39 pm
that was really good! could you read my poem "Forgotten Domain" and comment/rate? i would like some feedback from fellow writers!
 
undone said...
Jun. 8, 2011 at 1:05 pm
that was great it makes me kind of think whats happening to are own country everyone outside of our country watching us from the side lines shaking their heads at us for all the war were causing
 
alliegeoca said...
Jun. 8, 2011 at 9:16 am
the rhyming was so effortless! i loved it!
 
Gabiiiii This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 5, 2011 at 10:40 am
Makes me thing of aliens. :)
 
SideraCaeli said...
Nov. 22, 2010 at 5:14 pm
Reminded me of native americans?
 
nchic said...
Nov. 22, 2010 at 3:37 pm
i love it! sonnets are so hard to write, but your rhythm was spectacular! 
 
Phantom_Girl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 31, 2010 at 6:16 am
Wow. It made me think of an alien race looking down on humanity's many flaws and trying to save us from ourselves.
 
alwayskelley This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 8, 2010 at 10:38 am
awesome just awesome
 
saimne This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 16, 2010 at 10:17 pm

amazing, i love the dark vibe i get from this poem. great work!

i'd love to know the artist of the pix if u dont mind haha

thnx

 
beach replied...
Mar. 12, 2011 at 4:02 pm
yea the  poem is great and the picture is really great too
 
ShernayB. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 16, 2010 at 11:27 am

This is very powerful. I love it. Keep writing.

And please, check out my work. Ratings are greatly appreciated. Thanks!

 
TheDreamer said...
Apr. 16, 2010 at 9:12 am
this was really powerful to the reader. every deranged problem sized down after the war. this was completely incredible!
 
lilyraven said...
Feb. 9, 2010 at 7:45 pm
Wow if there was ever such a thing as dark, terrible beauty, I do believe you have shown it! This is incredible...Very intriguing =)
 
dreamer_believer said...
Sept. 7, 2009 at 3:08 pm
wow! soo deep, and so dreadfully sad, a distrubing. but omigoodness it's a great poem :) love it!
 
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