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Thoughts on Childhood

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Sitting on a bench,
Not a comfortable one,
In a public park,
It was not dark.
As I was thinking of invention,
Something caught my attention,
It was a boy,
Quite a small boy,
Playing with joy,
With his toy.

Tears trickled down,
My cheeks, I looked down,
Upon the green ground,
Remembered an old wound.
That wound of emotion,
Stopped all my motion.
Seeing the child play,
Made me sad, this way,
I was not being cruel.
But had been a fool,
Fool in the sense,
Which is quite dense.

I wanna re-live my childhood,
If only be possible, it could!



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Jade.I.AmThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 24, 2013 at 2:49 pm
Haha this was sort of emotional AND playful, to me...I liked it mucho
 
SaphiraBrightscalesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 21, 2013 at 12:03 pm
Aww that's true most of us feel that way....just one tiny thing I'd like to point out... Umm you rhymed "wound" with "ground" I guess, But wound is pronounced as "woo-ound" just check the pronunciation. :D BUt overall lovely poem.
 
UsamaAhmed said...
Apr. 17, 2013 at 12:58 pm
hahah awsum yaar... but i agree with sparkle.
 
Swa.Swara.Vismaya said...
Apr. 14, 2013 at 10:13 am
share the same feeling..wanna live my childhood again...the innocence and carefreeness haunts me still....  
 
AbbaDabbaDoo said...
Apr. 12, 2013 at 7:47 am
Very relatable and beautiful!
 
FallenoutofgraceThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:07 pm
so cool it is something we all want to re-live :3
 
The_girl_at_her_desk said...
Feb. 15, 2013 at 4:31 am
well said...somethng everyone dreams abt....
 
in.this.moment said...
Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:16 am
<3 
 
Scribbleaway. said...
Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:30 am
Thats so cool. :3
 
baileyanne said...
Jan. 15, 2013 at 2:36 pm
Wow... i got teary eyed!  AWESOME JOB!! :)
 
country-cutey said...
Jan. 12, 2013 at 12:53 pm
again u have great talent but dont force the rhym in so much let it flow
 
MonsterGirl2000 said...
Jan. 11, 2013 at 2:15 pm
i loike it
 
Mr.Poetman said...
Jan. 7, 2013 at 12:27 pm
By reading this i can tell you have great talent, but i dont necesarily like this particular poem, no offence, like i said your vary talented
 
Hamzawaseem said...
Jan. 7, 2013 at 2:03 am
thanks everyone for the comments
 
MysticLady said...
Jan. 6, 2013 at 11:23 pm
Wow!! this totally remined me of my childhood. This is pretty emotional. Good writing though
 
Battle-ColorsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 6, 2013 at 2:29 pm
This poem is good.  It's also true, childhood is a good time.
 
SerenX said...
Jan. 6, 2013 at 6:52 am
I think the idea here was very good, but at a certain point the rhymes became forced. They were there just to make rhyming and didn't help the depth of the poem. This caused your meaning to become a bit obscured. I liked it but it needs some fine tuning. ^^
 
wordweaver1999 said...
Jan. 4, 2013 at 1:53 am
very flowy, but the last two lines could be better
 
B.C.S. said...
Jan. 2, 2013 at 3:51 pm
I like the topic of the poem, but the last line does not really flow all that great, and i would change "wanna" to "want to". it doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the poem. 
 
theatregirlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 2, 2013 at 2:29 pm
I like your poem too. I do agree with other commenter. The last line sound forced and awkward. Fix and the poem will be perfect.keep writing ! :)
 
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