Can Anyone Hear Me?

August 12, 2012
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Can anyone hear me?
Can anyone see me?
The feelin' of bein' alone.
A child wit no home.

A timid little girl.
Afraid of the world.
Not knowin' where to stand.
Searchin' for a helpin' hand.

Unable to see.
The reason in me.
a fight to the end.
Never knowin' who's around the bend.

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LadyFreeWill This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 14, 2012 at 3:52 pm
  Hey there,  Your poem starts out nice, although I suggest working on punctuation. Ex: “The feelin’ of bein’ alone;/ A child wit’ no home.” <== In this case, you should insert a semicolon after the third line, since you leave the sentence incomplete with a period. The misuse of periods is a common problem throughout this piece, mostly commonly found as a wrongful substitute of commas. In the fourth line, you’d want to add an apostrophe after ... (more »)
TinyTiglet96 replied...
Aug. 15, 2012 at 6:06 pm
Thanks for the feedback  
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