Dancing In The Rain

June 10, 2011
By LunaLives GOLD, South Bend, Indiana
LunaLives GOLD, South Bend, Indiana
17 articles 0 photos 237 comments

Favorite Quote:
Because I can!-Me "Life is a choice and death is a decision"-Lil Wayne


Dancing in the rain.
Dancing in the rain.
We were positively dancing in the rain.


Dancing down the block.
From the apartment to the shop.

The rain was falling down.
Down down down down down.

Skip stop hop.
Dancing in the rain.
The one good place where our hearts had felt no pain.

Dancing in the rain.
Dancing in the rain.
We were positively dancing in the rain.

Clear small voices ring.
As little girls we sing.
While dancing in the rain.
Positively dancing in the rain.


The author's comments:
Friday, June 10, 2011
I have only just begun writing songs so any constructive criticism would be much appreciated.

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This article has 3 comments.


deleted said...
on Apr. 1 2012 at 4:47 pm
deleted, Miami, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 195 comments
Totally got a melody in my head while reading this. Nice job :) I like reading other song writers' works... gives me inspiration :)

on Apr. 1 2012 at 12:59 pm
BriRose2014 SILVER, Fremont, Nebraska
9 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy."
-George Jean Nathan

when i was reading this, it reminded me of when i was a little kid. great work!

on Aug. 7 2011 at 7:32 pm
BriarRose PLATINUM, Seneca, Illinois
24 articles 7 photos 162 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't need a rose. I want a daisy you picked for my hair. I don't want some fancy box of chocolate. I want a pink frosting cookie you made just for me. Lets skip the upscale restaraunt and have a picnic in the park.

Dancing in the rain is a great concept, and i'm actually liking the rhyme bit-you managed that without messing with the flow of the song. The longer lines were a tad awkward (they stood out b/c the rest were so short and sweet) but that might not be an issue. It depends on the music you set this to, really.

 

Keep writing



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