Feel Not Right | Teen Ink

Feel Not Right

February 22, 2011
By chrisoulakat PLATINUM, Tinley Park, Illinois
chrisoulakat PLATINUM, Tinley Park, Illinois
48 articles 10 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Stop waiting and be free. Of me- put me deep inside you and then go out in the world and live. Love the world and yourself in it, move through it offers no resistance, as though the world is your natural element." -The Time Traveler's Wife


I don’t think I’m doing this right
I’m just a girl fighting for my life
I want him to stop messing with me
I want him to stop calling names

I don’t think I’m doing this right
I try to pull myself away from him
I try to tell him stop playing with me
I call him names, but they’re meaningless to him

They tell me that

He is meaningless
He is devious
Trying to gain control of my life
But to me he is
Powerful
And was so wonderful
But now he is just a boy who’s making me feel not right

Not right as in insecure,
He likes to ridicule everything about me
He says I’m not smart enough
That I am not pretty enough
I’m just a girl he can mess with

He knows how to play this game very well
He always wins the rounds
Even if I battle back he somehow makes me sad
Or is he just telling the truth?

I guess I’m not smart or pretty enough.
I’m just a girl he can mess with

He is meaningless
He is devious
Trying to gain control of my life
But to me he is
Powerful
And was so wonderful
But now he is just a boy who’s making me feel not right

I dream of standing up for myself.
But he is way too strong for me to say to him:
You liar, you narcissist, you were so incredible…
What happened?

Now he’s typical for being devious
He gains control of me and my life
But to me he is so powerful
And was so wonderful
But he’s just a boy I have to let go

He is meaningless
He is devious
Trying to gain control of my life
But to me he is
Powerful
And was so wonderful
But now he is just a boy who’s making me feel not right


The author's comments:
I wrote this today because I've been emotionally upset by this guy. I've learned- to not trust anybody.

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