Surrounded | Teen Ink

Surrounded

November 29, 2009
By momo94 SILVER, Pacifica, California
momo94 SILVER, Pacifica, California
6 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I'm falling through a tunnel
of everything I've lost.
I look at the pain I took,
parts of my heart it cost.
Though I'm still alive,
the soul will always bleed.
And I still dunno
what I really need.

The blackness surrounds
as I fall towards the ground.
Memories pass by
of all those times I've cried.
I can't really tell
if you know me as well.
But help me would you?
Cuz I need some saving too.

I hit the ground,
but I don't feel it.
I look around,
but I don't see it.
Don't see anything
but a mirror.
I approach,
the glass is clearer.
Is this me,
that I see?

The blackness surrounds
as I fall towards the ground.
Memories pass by
of all those times I've cried.
I can't really tell
if you know me as well.
But help me would you?
Cuz I need some saving too.

Someone enters the room.
I see that its you.
How did you find me?
How could you see,
past my looks and into me?
How do you wind,
up in my mind?

(softer)
The blackness surrounds
as I fall towards the ground.
Memories pass by
of all those times I've cried.
I can't really tell
if you know me as well.
But help me would you?
Cuz I need some saving too.

The black fades away,
cuz you saved me
again today

The author's comments:
I just had a rough patch at that point. It was about a guy, and how my other friend helped me through it. :)

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This article has 6 comments.


on Jan. 20 2010 at 6:50 pm
Ashleykimiko BRONZE, Honolulu, Hawaii
1 article 0 photos 6 comments
through your lyrics, you provide a very accurate description of depression. great lyrics! would love to hear these song lyrics performed as an actual song! great job!

Kailli BRONZE said...
on Dec. 22 2009 at 6:39 pm
Kailli BRONZE, Brainerd, Minnesota
3 articles 1 photo 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"He who runs after bus,will soon be tired."
~Alex Resch~

I really liked this, kept me interested all the way through. You've got a real talent, so stick with it. Overall, very good job:)

400king BRONZE said...
on Dec. 21 2009 at 11:57 am
400king BRONZE, Hemet, California
1 article 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
a poem is never finished, just abandoned

once again i love this song, you have a real gift and trust me i'm not one to go around congratulating other people on their work but you are really good. there are some tiny things you can fix though, too. like just shortening up some phrases and making them easier to sing. like "towards the ground" would be so much simpled as "to the ground." heres something easy to remember i hope that helps, keep it simple.

LaVonna SILVER said...
on Dec. 21 2009 at 11:42 am
LaVonna SILVER, Owatonna, Minnesota
6 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
"dont let education get in your way of learning" -my American Lit teacher

easy to relate to... nice job

on Dec. 20 2009 at 12:43 pm
wishing4thebest2day GOLD, Redmond, Washington
10 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Giving will ultimately make you happier in life. It is rewarding for you to brighten up someone's day." -Anonymous

It was so real and easy to relate to. Amazing!

on Dec. 15 2009 at 9:35 pm
ErosMethod GOLD, Peoria, Arizona
18 articles 0 photos 8 comments
This is the type of stuff i'm into. Good writing.