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America, home of the brave

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This is America, home of the brave

Known for their cruel treatment to slaves

Home to animals who sleep in caves

And gnarly surfers who ride on waves

There's no need to be afraid

America will come to your aid

If you got wings they'll dig you a grave

No how no way

No place to stay

But this is America, home of the brave




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ConsalvatorThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 29 at 5:30 pm
Reminds me of Uncle Sam G*dd*mn by Brother Ali. I wouldn't really qualify this as a limerick, it's more freeverse. Very powerful lines, but it seems like there wasn't much real heart into it. Like you are trying to convince someone that you don't like something you like. I really like some of the images you showed, especially the line "If you got wings they'll dig you a grave". Keep writing. :)
 
missfloetryThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
today at 8:45 pm
Thank you. :)
 
GagaxThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 6 at 10:08 am
this is really good! Its good as a limerick, its kinda satirical and pokes fun at America! Honestly I really liked it so if it were longer i would like that. Unless limericks arent supposed to be long?
 
missfloetryThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 6 at 2:56 pm
Thank you! Limericks are "supposed" to be 5 lines long, but as you can see I made it a little longer. I'm a rebel!!! >:) lol
 
poetic.eyesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 5 at 6:27 am
Sorry getting your feedback to you so many days after I said I would. Great theme, full of emotion. I love the contrast brought out by repeating the statement "America home of the brave", placed next to all the unfair things America has done. One thing I feel doesn't fit too well is the line: "And gnarly surfers who ride on waves"... Good work!!!
 
Frankie Johnson said...
Jul. 30 at 1:18 pm
This deserves more likes!
 
kirstyIThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 25 at 7:39 pm
I really get it, like America treats certain people (ppl of color) differently than everyone else because of deeply rooted institutionalized racism and it isn't right. The only thing that is more terrible is how ppl are silencing the problems.
 
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