The Stubborn Not-A-Poet

I am NOT a poet,
so don’t say “well, you might be, you just don’t know it”,
because I don’t get poetry,
it makes me scream like a banshee.
I don’t understand how to rhyme,
it makes my face pinch like eating a sour lime.
I especially don’t do,
what is called haiku,
it’s so lame and boring,
I always feel like snoring.
And what’s with poetry being “art”,
it’d be more useful as a fart.
Why are you smiling, I don’t comprehend,
what kind of message are you trying to send,
what’s that you say?
speak louder, I’m listening okay?
I’m truly a poet,
and the only one who doesn’t know it?!
That’s outrageous, ridiculous, completely obscene!
What? Do you not get what I mean?!
I mean that was rude, disgusting and entirely offensive,
don’t even try to be defensive.
I TOLD you I can NOT write poems,
they end up as stupid as garden gnomes.
Pardon me, I didn’t catch that last.
Why do you always speak so fast?
So far, I’ve rhymed everything I’ve said?
Now that’s utterly bizarre, something’s wrong in your head.
Blasphemy I say to you, you and you,
I call shenanigans you dirty piece of dog do do!
Sigh, I’ll say one more thing and leave it at that.
Then say goodbye with the tip of my hat,
Bird, is not the word,
that is absolutely absurd.