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The Stubborn Not-A-Poet

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I am NOT a poet,
so don’t say “well, you might be, you just don’t know it”,
because I don’t get poetry,
it makes me scream like a banshee.
I don’t understand how to rhyme,
it makes my face pinch like eating a sour lime.
I especially don’t do,
what is called haiku,
it’s so lame and boring,
I always feel like snoring.
And what’s with poetry being “art”,
it’d be more useful as a fart.
Why are you smiling, I don’t comprehend,
what kind of message are you trying to send,
what’s that you say?
speak louder, I’m listening okay?
I’m truly a poet,
and the only one who doesn’t know it?!
That’s outrageous, ridiculous, completely obscene!
What? Do you not get what I mean?!
I mean that was rude, disgusting and entirely offensive,
don’t even try to be defensive.
I TOLD you I can NOT write poems,
they end up as stupid as garden gnomes.
Pardon me, I didn’t catch that last.
Why do you always speak so fast?
So far, I’ve rhymed everything I’ve said?
Now that’s utterly bizarre, something’s wrong in your head.
Blasphemy I say to you, you and you,
I call shenanigans you dirty piece of dog do do!
Sigh, I’ll say one more thing and leave it at that.
Then say goodbye with the tip of my hat,
Bird, is not the word,
that is absolutely absurd.



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This article has 14 comments. Post your own!

Apollo77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 27, 2013 at 2:37 pm:
Funny, I like the story, some of the lines are too longand disrupt the flow, but that's cool. I like it
 
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Whompingwillow said...
Jan. 20, 2013 at 6:16 pm:
lol this was funny loved it! sorry to say, but you ARE a poet :p
 
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flanny This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:31 am:
very humorous and entertaining!! i enjoyed reading it!!
 
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KimKendrickThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:17 am:
I really like this poem, but it isn't very powerful. Not a bad thing, but if you chose to, you could make it more powerful.
 
Rolledthestone This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:42 pm :
What do you mean by more powerful? I'm totally open to suggestions :-)
 
KimKendrickThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 14, 2013 at 7:13 pm :
Again, I'm not saying you have to do this, but in my poems, I like to make them shorter, but with more emotion in each line. I don't really know how to explain it, but you can see it in my poems.
 
Rolledthestone This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:27 am :
Oh. Well, I dunno, I like longer poems but short poems can be good too. I guess I need to find that balance and make sure I'm not just rambling on. THX!
 
prolifepacifist This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 23, 2013 at 4:51 pm :
I think he (or she) was going for humourous (yes, I'm Canadian) as opposed to powerful,,, just a hunch... but I am extremely relieved that you directed this-excuse me- 'poet' to some far more appropriate and poignant poems so that she can develop.  
 
prolifepacifist This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 23, 2013 at 4:52 pm :
(or he) can develop
 
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Shadowpomgurl said...
Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:44 pm:
L-O- freakin-L!!
 
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Shadowpomgurl said...
Dec. 8, 2012 at 7:26 pm:
LOL!!! i love this! 5/5!
 
Rolledthestone This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:45 pm :
Why thank you *takes bow* *nearly topples off stage* *regains balance* *gets flower thrown at head* *expertly catches next in mouth* *more flowers* *too many flowers* *bombarded with flowers* *buried alive by flowers* *death by a thousand flowers (or rose thorns)* 
 
Ray-Lynn replied...
Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:33 pm :
This is probably my new favorite poem on Teenink(:
 
Rolledthestone This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:27 am :
Aw, thank you.
 
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