Lucem Adferre This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

March 27, 2017

God's light is hopeful,
healing our hearts from the dark
which haunts us too long.






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Patrick82432This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 11 at 5:38 pm
Love the piece! It's short and concise, as a haiku should be, and conveys its message very well. I love everything about it, however, I believe the Latin you were aiming for would be "lucem adferre"
 
Patrick82432This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 11 at 5:39 pm
As well as what @hwoodruff98 said, the first line consists of 4 when it should be 5, but it's still great!
 
hwoodruff98 replied...
Apr. 11 at 6:05 pm
Maybe you could try "Sunlight is hopeful?" That would make the first line five syllables. Additionally, I think the word "that" would sound more fluid than the word "which," but that's really picky and a stylistic choice. In any case, it is still a nice piece :)
 
SpeakerofWolvesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 11 at 7:45 pm
@Patrick82432 @hwoodruff98 Here's what I have to say. 1.) The title means, "Light of Hope" in Latin and I wanted to say the first line that is similar to the title. 2.) I had tried 20 times with a syllable counter just it case and it results in 5. "Light" counts 1 "is" counts 1 "Hopeful" counts 3 However, I did do some literal researching and found that Hopeful counts 2. I will consider the advice of replacing light with "sunlight". Thanks for the suggestion woodruff98!!! 3.) To hwoodruff98, I... (more »)
 
hwoodruff98 said...
Apr. 9 at 4:44 pm
This is a nice piece, very classic in its message, but it's not a haiku. A haiku consists of three lines. The first line contains five syllables; the second, seven; and the third, five... If you wanted it to be a haiku, you could say: "A light is hopeful" (five syllables), "healing our hearts from darkness" (seven syllables), "that haunts us too long" (five syllables). That being said, congrats on the red checkmark!
 
SpeakerofWolvesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 9 at 8:42 pm
I know what you saying. The second phase is supposed to be one together like "healing our hearts from darkness" in one whole line. But, it makes the phase two lines. I'll fix it as soon as I can. Thank you for the comment. Hope you have one red checkmark too!
 
SpeakerofWolvesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 9 at 8:49 pm
@hwoodruff98 I tried what you said, but it stills makes the second phase two lines, but I really appreciate the advice.
 
hwoodruff98 replied...
Apr. 9 at 10:10 pm
Oh, it doesn't really matter if it drops down to a fourth line, because that's just how it's formatted on the website. It's about the syllables. :) And of course. It was a lovely piece.
 
SpeakerofWolvesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 10 at 9:04 am
@hwoodruff98 Right, I double check each haiku I have for syllables. Making haiku's can sometimes be a pain when it comes to syllables. :) Thanks for the comment!
 
reach4marsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 2 at 4:44 pm
Can't believe I only just saw this now! Love love love it
 
reach4marsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 2 at 4:45 pm
also congratulations on the red check! I bet your work will be put into the magazine soon XDD
 
SpeakerofWolvesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 2 at 7:14 pm
Awww, thanks Reach4mars!! I hope it will be submitted into the magazine too! :)
 
Ray--yoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 31 at 8:58 am
What a warm piece. Thank you for sharing it with us, and congratulations on the red mark! I hope it is the first of many to follow.
 
SpeakerofWolvesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 2 at 7:15 pm
Thank you! I hope it would be the beginning of those red marks too!!
 
cmcoates11This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 30 at 7:43 pm
This is really good and i think you picked the perfect picture to go along with it!!!!!
 
SpeakerofWolvesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 30 at 8:47 pm
Awwww, thanks! This one I didn't know it would get an Editor's Pick, but now it does! I enjoyed your hard work,and I would look forward to seeing your poems (and possibly haikus if you are thinking about making one. In case you have any questions about them, just let me know!).
 
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