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Forbidden Change

The words I keep in,
silences the words uttered
underneath my voice.



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Melissa said...
Mar. 4 at 10:19 am
Good haiku. 
 
Jade.I.AmThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 6 at 6:14 pm
Okay, just a few critiques. "Silences" should be "silence", because "words" is plural. And since it's a haiku, I would advise not to use the same word twice ("words"). But that's just my opinion :) I really liked the part that goes "uttered/underneath my voice". Nice imagery there, and it's thought-provoking :) Nice job, you're a very talented writer. And your haikus are really pretty :)
 
Jade.I.AmThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 6 at 6:15 pm
Sorry, that wasn't supposed to be a reply :P
 
dina8This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 18, 2013 at 6:34 pm
Love this, short and simple but gets the message out! I can definetly relate
 
mynameisnothabib said...
Nov. 4, 2013 at 9:59 am
I really love this one and how you are able to say so much with so little. I feel like, reading into that poem, that I can relate to you, because I keep so many words in, and the ones on the inside drown out the ones on the outside, because the inner ones are the real me.
 
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