dying flames

October 22, 2013
Last night burned, and we
burned with it – in the morning:
only ashes left.





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Mckay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 9, 2014 at 5:18 pm
As usual of myself, I'm drawn to titles: so the title for this poem initially grasped my curiousity. I will say it felt slightly choppy with the "-in the morning: only ahses left" part. But I knew what you were saying. I think it might benefit from extending the piece just a little more. Maybe not a long poem. But playing with the image. I love the concept. Well done. 
 
SaphiraBrightscales This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 22, 2014 at 1:55 pm
SKY! ARE YOU INSANE?!!WEll I'll comment on the poem later but first I read Ray--yo's comment and I was confused so I opened your profile and focused on the About <name> part. NO WAY. YOU MUST REALLY not believe that. It is not true. AND I am getting really sentimental here. Please don't ever believe that. AND you must tell me that you read this when you do okay! Secondly I have missed reading your stuff. Post more soon? Pleeeeaaasee. AND THIS: This is just. Well when you said P... (more »)
 
Ray--yoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 26, 2014 at 5:31 am
Maintaining precision while also making a point is not always an easy job, but you nailed it. Kudos! I love (and I almost never use this word) your name, and I totally can relate to your description of yourself. And I may be half a world away but I like you, so maybe change that particular line? And I'd appreciate it a lot if you commented on some of my works. Thanks!
 
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