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Fairy Tale of Murder

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Once upon a time,
The moon absconded from the
Sky, trusting the stars.

A pretty maiden
Stood by the chiseled window,
Portraying the night.

The bloodshot eyes gleamed
In the unnoticed darkness,
Like the Big Bad Wolf's.

Her pink lips had lied;
Unlike Pinocchio's Sins,
Her nose stayed flawless.

The White Church bell tolled.
The Beast revealed his manja
Threads. The stars shuddered.

His hands obliged death,
Unlike Evil Queen's Huntsman,
Faithful in bidding.

Her still crimson corpse
Satiated his mind. He
Hauled her up and ran.

Red polka dots stalked
Him, like the bread crumbs left by
Hansel and Gretel.



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This article has 22 comments. Post your own!

GleekGamer This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:22 am:
Really good, great description, I loved how you took more meaning from Fairy Tales! :)
 
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Jade.I.AmThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:17 am:
this packed full of so many allusions to fairytales, it was breathtaking. your imagery was perfect, and i love how it makes you think, ya know? great job!
 
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LivelyJade said...
Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:16 am:
I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!! It reminds me of Brothers Grimm with a poetic twist. :D
 
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IrenieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:14 am:
I love this! Exquisite word choice. I love how you bring to mind many cultures and fairy tales. Not sure why this didn't get an editors choice. I think this is beautiful! Keep writing!!
 
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Hamzawaseem said...
Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:30 am:
So profoundly amazing and nice done! WOW
 
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Hanban12This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:25 am:
HI! Ok, ill start out with I LOVE THIS POEM. The word choice is brilliant and everything flows together perfectly- also love the story. Keep writing PLEASE
 
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Laugh-it-OutThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 5, 2013 at 11:57 pm:
Awesome. Love. The. Fairy. Tails. Woven. In. Perfectly. Never. Stop. Writing. Keep. Writing. And. Always. Laugh
 
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LexusMarieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 5, 2013 at 11:03 pm:
Hi there! Fourth stanza, priceless. The word choices in this are magnificent! I really like this, it's very interesting! The title and picture are very mysterious!
 
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StarlitSunriseThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 5, 2013 at 8:20 pm:
  The metaphor in this is very well done. :) I loved the lines “The Beast revealed his manja // Threads. The stars shuddered.”. Your concept is very creative, and I found it quite interesting to read.
 
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WeLiveForOurScarsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 5, 2013 at 3:16 pm:
Although I usually don't like fantasy themes all too much, I really enjoyed this poem, specifically your descriptions.
 
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laurengerhard This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 5, 2013 at 2:09 pm:
Your comparisons are beautiful. I love equating fairytale characters to things... I do it all the time in my poems. Great job!
 
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iAmandaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 5, 2013 at 1:03 pm:
I love the description you give out especially with the connnection of the fairytales.
 
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readaholicThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 5, 2013 at 8:29 am:
Very good!!!  I like how it uses some fairy tale elements.  Your word choice is astounding!  Again, good use of haiku :) and thanks for explaining what manja threads are
 
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SaphiraBrightscales said...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:17 pm:
WOW this is so cleverly written.... I love the fact that you wrote it in Haiku form.. You seem to be so good at this!! WHy have you shared such little poetry?? This is seriously awesome.. I get the manja thread thing but I don't seem to get the stanza,,, the 5th one.. Maybe it relates to a story I haven;t.. Is the Beast like for "Beauty and The Beast" or just literally...???  If I'm bugging too much: Sorry.. *apologetic smile*
 
AugustSummerFlingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 5, 2013 at 9:31 am :
Hi saphira :) let me explain the stanza. Church bells are usually associated with merrymaking and joy (wedding etc.) so I wanted to make a contrast here. Here the church bell is the death knell. So the beast prepares for the murder and the stars, overlooking the murderer and the unknowing victim, are shocked by this fore coming incident. And this also symbolizes that there's no one to save the girl. Not even the stars (it's a moonless night) so death is imminent. Hope that helped. N thanks for l... (more »)
 
SaphiraBrightscales replied...
May 7, 2013 at 1:07 pm :
Oh Thanks for that! It all made it so clear... And hey... I totally look forward to reading, and you bet I will but *please don't kill me* I have exams this month so next month I'll check out all of it and I guess this time I'm gonna be the one that replies late to you, SORRY in advance,... but I guess we'll be even then lol....anyway no kidding these exams are scaring the crap out of me though I've studied all year it's my first time to sit the CIEs and well nervous duh!... (more »)
 
AugustSummerFlingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 17, 2013 at 4:34 am :
BEST OF LUCK FOR YOUR EXAMS! I'm sure you'll do really well ;) n yes we will be even then :D *winks* and yes, get back on teen ink ASAP :) :P
 
SaphiraBrightscales replied...
May 25, 2013 at 5:25 am :
Thank You! And well now they're almost over, my last exam is 10thJune but I just couldn't wait to come back here  :D And here I am. And can you imagine the number of emails I got from TeenInk all these days..I think it would take merely two hours to just open them and then an additional 10 to read all the stuff ..Gosh you guys are the best! Oh and exams went good. Well so far. Let's hope I get an A* in that last one as there are so many hols its bound to be super tough so I'... (more »)
 
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mnm08 said...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 1:06 pm:
this is beautifully written :) i loved the references to fairytales , great job!~
 
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Shagun said...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 8:08 am:
Great flow in your writing <3  
 
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