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Emptiness Within

Emptiness, a pain
Inside my heart waiting here
For pain to disperse



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Netnel said...
Sept. 12, 2013 at 5:03 pm:
Such simply beautiful words.
 
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SteelersJdog said...
Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:50 am:
I like the oxymoron that you have going on here. Rather than describing emptiness as a lack of something inside the heart, you describe it as a manifestation of pain. The idea that emptiness is actually the presence of something unwanted paints an amazing image. It really breaks down the idea of what pain really does. It not only causes hurt, but its presence can drive away everything else. Great job, especially for a Haiku!
 
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SaphiraBrightscalesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 26, 2013 at 6:05 am:
Like the repetition of the word "pain"...  :D
 
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Anansesem This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 21, 2013 at 7:20 pm:
:D The reason I love haiku.
 
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