We hide behind our masks
So, no one sees us laugh,
Or cry when were lonely.
masked
We hide behind our masks
So, no one sees us laugh,
Or cry when were lonely.
IAmWhoIWantToBeFirst, I think this is more of a freeverse poem than a haiku. A haiku has 5-7-5 syllables in each line. Second, were in the third line must have been we're.
were - past tesnse of are
we're - we are
Third, although, I think masks have been used in so many literature pieces when they're talking of hiding their true feelings or something like that. Maybe, you could revise it.
Other than those, I think you'll just need a little work so this could b... (more »)
were - past tesnse of are
we're - we are
Third, although, I think masks have been used in so many literature pieces when they're talking of hiding their true feelings or something like that. Maybe, you could revise it.
Other than those, I think you'll just need a little work so this could b... (more »)
I like it, concise, to the point and totally true! Nice one :)
I think you have a lot to go on in this piece, but if it had a little more length and depth, it would be mind-blowing. A paragraph or two goes a long way. You've got the backbone to an amazing piece ~ now it's time to make it shine.
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