time flies, with all the
lies, that come and go, at their
owners' clear leisure
lies, that come and go, at their
owners' clear leisure
Swiminawayfew words, but straight and clear to the point. i like it:)
sany.lastflameI love this poem! It does feel like its missing something. If I were you, I would change the second line and use some different, more powerful word choice that really draws the reader in, like the very last line!
Fabala_GI like the internal rhyme! Good job!
browneyez16I like it. Not everyone can pull a haiku off...
If you get a moment you shoul check out some of my stuff.... :)
thank you! i'm working on a sort story that will be done in couple weeks!
Well...let me know when it is and I'll read it! :)
okay! it is about sibling rivalry... likestepbrothers but more serious and about sisters! it is kinda based on me and my sister and our relationship :P
okay! it is about sibling rivalry... like stepbrothers but more serious and about sisters! it is kinda based on me and my sister and our relationship :P
I'll try and read it sometime this weekend...sounds great!! :)
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