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When You Can't Sleep MAG

March 22, 2010
By JustJanelle BRONZE, North Andover, Massachusetts
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JustJanelle BRONZE, North Andover, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air. -Emerson
You must be the square root of pi because you make me irrational. -Shivani Deshmukh

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Insomnia rests
Its eyes on your sleepless chest
And strangles your dreams

© Andrew F., Lake In The Hills, IL

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 16 comments.

ChrisJ PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 22 2013 at 1:42 pm
ChrisJ PLATINUM, Rochester, New York
24 articles 15 photos 289 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.”
- Martin Luther King Jr.

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This is very powerful and deep, very good job!
Zolton225 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 8 2012 at 5:56 pm
Zolton225 BRONZE, Gurnee, Illinois
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
\"Falsehood is never in words; it is in things.\" - Italo Calvino

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I rather enjoyed that insomnia was strangling the dream, as in insomnia was personified and what not. Such beautiful simplicity in this. Great job, really.
eliana924 GOLD said...
on Jan. 1 2012 at 12:19 pm
eliana924 GOLD, New York, New York
11 articles 0 photos 116 comments
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Wow! I love the rhyme of the first two lines, the way you played with the word "rests," the powerful imagery of the last line - "strangles"! - really this is a brilliant haiku!
beautifulspirit PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 14 2011 at 3:36 pm
beautifulspirit PLATINUM, Alpharetta, Georgia
35 articles 0 photos 1398 comments

Favorite Quote:
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
--Eleanor Roosevelt

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Liked that you personified insomnia~ the metaphor was great!
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 11 2011 at 6:04 am
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

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I like the metaphor and I love, love, love this haiku!!!
dia.dreamer GOLD said...
on Aug. 22 2011 at 8:21 am
dia.dreamer GOLD, Kochi, Other
10 articles 0 photos 145 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I saw an angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." - Michelangelo
"I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart: I am, I am, I am." - Sylvia Plath

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wow. I'm speechless. :O I love this!!! love the metaphor, love the choice of words, love everything. five stars!

check out my work too. :)

SweetPolarBearHugs PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 2 2011 at 3:42 pm
SweetPolarBearHugs PLATINUM, New York, New York
27 articles 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All conflict in literature is, in its simplest form, a struggle between good and evil." - unknown author.
"All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream." - Edgar Allan Poe

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this is very good, amazing!
tatertot1311 BRONZE said...
on May. 31 2011 at 7:23 pm
tatertot1311 BRONZE, Johnson, Vermont
4 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Dance like no one is watching you"

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I love this!!!
lyrical_assassin SILVER said...
on Jan. 14 2011 at 10:56 am
lyrical_assassin SILVER, Dubai, Other
6 articles 0 photos 4 comments
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Beautiful! Loved it! :)
emobabe13 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 9 2010 at 8:58 pm
emobabe13 BRONZE, Sparks, Nevada
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
two roads diverged in a yellow wood and I - I took the one less traveled by. By Robert Frost

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that was great I can't wait to read more from you!!!
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 8 2010 at 5:04 pm
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM, Lothlorien, Utah
44 articles 16 photos 2206 comments

Favorite Quote:
Boredom instigates extreme creativity.
~Amoniel

"Bowing gratefully to all of my subjects, 'thank you. Thank you. The pleasure is mine." Nah, I'm just kidding. We're all kings together.'"
~Thesilentraven

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Lovely :)

Nice imagery, this was very well written :)

Congrats on getting it published!

MeganAnne PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 7 2010 at 6:53 pm
MeganAnne PLATINUM, Niskayuna, New York
24 articles 0 photos 157 comments

Favorite Quote:
All my life I've looked at words as if I were seeing them for the first time. ~Ernest Hemingway

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This was really, really good. Normally I don't think short poems are able to captivate so much emotion, but some writers can just do that. I surely wish I could, because you can. Amazing job.
Whisperer PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 7 2010 at 4:58 am
Whisperer PLATINUM, O&#39Fallon, Illinois
24 articles 0 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd rather be hated for who i am, than loved for who I'm not~Anonymous

No individual has any right to come into and out of this world without leaving distinct and legit reasons for having passed through.~Anonymous

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for as short as this poem is, it is expressed very well. :) i guess insomnia likes laying on people. great work!

if you want, check out, rate, and comment on my stuff. thanks :)

I_am_the_only_me GOLD said...
on Oct. 7 2010 at 1:15 am
I_am_the_only_me GOLD, Bakersfield, California
15 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible. " ~ Cadet Maxim
that's an awesome quote learn it, love it, live by it.

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I like it a lot an I don't normally care for haikus because they seem too short =] I feel like looking up haikus now :D great job
JustJanelle BRONZE said...
on Sep. 29 2010 at 10:43 pm
JustJanelle BRONZE, North Andover, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air. -Emerson
You must be the square root of pi because you make me irrational. -Shivani Deshmukh

View profile
Thank you very much!
Thesilentraven PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 29 2010 at 7:08 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1632 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

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This is written with the essence of that thing which makes me love haikus. You chose your words carefully (as you were obliged to do) and made something both complicated and simple. Well done, my friend.