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I Told Myself I Wouldn't Say This This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

When you stop breathing
Life does not end, because she
Took my breath away

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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SaphiraBrightscalesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 29, 2013 at 5:36 am
Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful.
 
ChrisJThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 30, 2012 at 12:29 pm
This is really creative, different, and original. I really liked it! Please make sure to read some of my pieces too!
 
AnneHoffman said...
Oct. 30, 2012 at 11:11 am
Taking one's breath away isn't  always about death. Alot of people say it took their breath away when they saw their newborn child (theat doesn't mean they died).
 
Kaffeine said...
Apr. 10, 2012 at 5:54 pm
It took my breath away to see that so much emotion can be expressed in just three lines! Please don't stop writing!
 
beautifulspiritThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 14, 2011 at 2:45 pm
Simply beautiful~
 
JamesODalaigh This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 22, 2011 at 4:25 pm
Wow is right! I was literally silenced by this, it's epic, please don't ever stop writing!
 
jasont727 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 30, 2011 at 7:29 pm
Wow. Really, just wow. Thank you for such an inspirational and beautiful three lines.
 
jessiflower said...
Dec. 16, 2010 at 7:21 pm
Wow! i think its amazing how much feeling and strong emotions you were able to pack into those 3 lines!
 
Seelix said...
Aug. 7, 2010 at 5:38 pm
This wonderful! It captures so much emotion (which is hard in a haiku!). Keep writing!
 
MelanieLouise This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 7, 2010 at 12:00 pm
i love how much emotion and description you fit into such a small amount of space. great work. keep writing, Mel :) oh and check out some of my work if you get the chance, i would love your opinion (:
 
Shelly-T said...
Jun. 22, 2010 at 7:09 pm
That's a profoundly excellent piece
 
lyssa28 replied...
Jul. 17, 2010 at 9:13 pm
thats so AMAZING!!!
 
Patience97 said...
May 29, 2010 at 8:08 pm

So, Life doesn't end but she took your breath away?

Did she give it back?

I'm sorry... I don't really understand it...

 
Fayrouz This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 3, 2010 at 2:10 pm

okay...scientifically...when you stop breathing..you die because you can no longer supply your body with oxygen.

 

BUTTTTT....

 

this amazing girl took his breath away....(he's still living)

the amazing girl defies science

 
Patience97 replied...
Jun. 3, 2010 at 2:51 pm
Ummm... ok.
 
Lizz17 replied...
Aug. 6, 2010 at 4:13 pm
eans she's so amazing that even though he should've died, he kept living just for her
 
DiamondsIntheGrass This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 14, 2010 at 8:10 pm

then why is it "'you' stop breathing"

and not "i"?

 
Starique said...
May 28, 2010 at 4:24 pm
not bad, im just tired of hearing about love stories.
 
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