Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

Without Beauty

She cannot see,
What she possesses,
Without beauty,
She still impresses.




Join the Discussion


This article has 25 comments. Post your own!

dule_91 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 12, 2009 at 4:31 pm:
it could definitely be longer. I don't agree that there is no beauty involved, even though if she is not physically beautiful, I'm sure there are tons of other beauties preset in one's personality, so that thing that impresses is definitely some kind of beauty, otherwise it wouldn't impress. Be careful when excluding that word xD
 
blissfully_loved This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 8, 2010 at 9:29 pm :
Hello Fayrouz,
First of all, sorry if my article offended you, I must say that it just stimulated me to write about some things that are quite forgotten in everyday life, the motif you used(beauty) made me think and express my emotions. Speaking of your poem, I understood what you meant and I think you did manage to express your message well, but the selection of the words was quite mistaken especially the construction 'without beauty' which caught my eye immediately. I like your... (more »)
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Katie T. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 8, 2009 at 5:12 am:
Great Concept/idea but I think this is free verse. Haikus are three lines with a syllable format of 5 7 5.
 
Fayrouz This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 10, 2009 at 9:56 pm :
Katie T: Oh, because I looked up Haikiu and it said it was a pattern of syllables so I figured this was haiku! Sorry for putting it in the wrong place.
SilverDawn: yeah, but I didn't know how to keep the rthym and not ruin its flow and add more stuff, but I''ll work on it!
Neverland: thanks a bunch!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
SilverDawn said...
Dec. 6, 2009 at 9:10 pm:
Good theme and rhyme. It might be better and even more meaningful if you maybe elaborated it and made it longer, to include what you think about make-up and expensive clothes. It's a great idea and I believe you can take it a few steps father (: keep writing!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
neverland said...
Dec. 4, 2009 at 7:31 pm:
this is really good :)
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Site Feedback