She cannot see,
What she possesses,
Without beauty,
She still impresses.
What she possesses,
Without beauty,
She still impresses.
dule_91
it could definitely be longer. I don't agree that there is no beauty involved, even though if she is not physically beautiful, I'm sure there are tons of other beauties preset in one's personality, so that thing that impresses is definitely some kind of beauty, otherwise it wouldn't impress. Be careful when excluding that word xD
Hello Fayrouz,
First of all, sorry if my article offended you, I must say that it just stimulated me to write about some things that are quite forgotten in everyday life, the motif you used(beauty) made me think and express my emotions. Speaking of your poem, I understood what you meant and I think you did manage to express your message well, but the selection of the words was quite mistaken especially the construction 'without beauty' which caught my eye immediately. I like your... (more »)
First of all, sorry if my article offended you, I must say that it just stimulated me to write about some things that are quite forgotten in everyday life, the motif you used(beauty) made me think and express my emotions. Speaking of your poem, I understood what you meant and I think you did manage to express your message well, but the selection of the words was quite mistaken especially the construction 'without beauty' which caught my eye immediately. I like your... (more »)
Katie T. Great Concept/idea but I think this is free verse. Haikus are three lines with a syllable format of 5 7 5.
Katie T: Oh, because I looked up Haikiu and it said it was a pattern of syllables so I figured this was haiku! Sorry for putting it in the wrong place.
SilverDawn: yeah, but I didn't know how to keep the rthym and not ruin its flow and add more stuff, but I''ll work on it!
Neverland: thanks a bunch!
SilverDawn: yeah, but I didn't know how to keep the rthym and not ruin its flow and add more stuff, but I''ll work on it!
Neverland: thanks a bunch!
SilverDawnGood theme and rhyme. It might be better and even more meaningful if you maybe elaborated it and made it longer, to include what you think about make-up and expensive clothes. It's a great idea and I believe you can take it a few steps father (: keep writing!
neverland
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