Without Beauty

November 10, 2009
By Fayrouz SILVER, Fargo, North Dakota
Fayrouz SILVER, Fargo, North Dakota
9 articles 12 photos 364 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Only dead fish swim with the stream"


She cannot see,
What she possesses,
Without beauty,
She still impresses.


The author's comments:
This poem is about how beauty is not the dominant way to impress, but most people certainly think it is. When a girl wants to impress, she reaches for make-up and clothes

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This article has 26 comments.


Fayrouz SILVER said...
on Dec. 12 2009 at 7:13 pm
Fayrouz SILVER, Fargo, North Dakota
9 articles 12 photos 364 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Only dead fish swim with the stream"

Ehh, yeah. You have a point, dule_91, but when i was writing it, i was kind of thinking of beauty as in the physical beauty and i hoped the reader would get that? but i see what you mean. i really would like to fix it for the better but idk...

dule05 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 12 2009 at 4:31 pm
dule05 BRONZE, Kraljevo, Other
1 article 1 photo 107 comments

Favorite Quote:
"In the end, the only people who fail are those who do not try." ~David Viscott

it could definitely be longer. I don't agree that there is no beauty involved, even though if she is not physically beautiful, I'm sure there are tons of other beauties preset in one's personality, so that thing that impresses is definitely some kind of beauty, otherwise it wouldn't impress. Be careful when excluding that word xD

Fayrouz SILVER said...
on Dec. 10 2009 at 9:56 pm
Fayrouz SILVER, Fargo, North Dakota
9 articles 12 photos 364 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Only dead fish swim with the stream"

Katie T: Oh, because I looked up Haikiu and it said it was a pattern of syllables so I figured this was haiku! Sorry for putting it in the wrong place.

SilverDawn: yeah, but I didn't know how to keep the rthym and not ruin its flow and add more stuff, but I''ll work on it!

Neverland: thanks a bunch!

on Dec. 8 2009 at 5:12 am
Katie Trudeau SILVER, Saranac Lake, New York
5 articles 0 photos 5 comments
Great Concept/idea but I think this is free verse. Haikus are three lines with a syllable format of 5 7 5.

on Dec. 6 2009 at 9:10 pm
SilverDawn GOLD, Burnaby, Other
10 articles 0 photos 298 comments
Good theme and rhyme. It might be better and even more meaningful if you maybe elaborated it and made it longer, to include what you think about make-up and expensive clothes. It's a great idea and I believe you can take it a few steps father (: keep writing!

on Dec. 4 2009 at 7:31 pm
greygardens SILVER, Lombard, Illinois
7 articles 0 photos 19 comments
this is really good :)


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