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Beneath the Current This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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Strawberry-stained cheeks
soft yellow waves, gold
in glimmers under the sun.
Toes dipped into frost-tipped,
exhilarating glass
A world fills the eyes.

Crystals on water
green short fur, standing on end
coating the solid slate of the earth,
silently living.
All the sweet claws and
bits of blue-green striped
fins fluttering forth
in an endless world
beneath the current.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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This article has 13 comments. Post your own now!

moderndayEmilyDickinsonThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 19 at 10:38 am
This is great, you're a wonderful writer. You're really talented. I hope you know, someone thinks you're a treasure and that they look up to you. 
 
DarkBlueBaby22 said...
May 1 at 11:35 pm
Phenomenal. I'm in awe with your words :)
 
KylieV This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 6, 2013 at 10:37 pm
This poem was very desciptive and eloquent. There are a few good examples of consonance: "... solid state", "bits of blue-green...", "Strawberry stained...", etc. There was also a good example of assonance: "Toes dipped into frost- tipped, exhilarating glass." Great poem!
 
writefearless said...
Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:22 am
the imagrey is wonderful :) good job!
 
Wearing_Westwood said...
Jul. 18, 2012 at 10:17 am

This is not a haiku.

This is free verse poetry.

thank you.

 
Wearing_Westwood replied...
Jul. 18, 2012 at 10:19 am

five syllables first

then there are seven of them

five, seven, then five

 
asofnowThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 17, 2013 at 12:53 pm
i agree with above comment. Despite this. it is an amazing poem :D
 
timeformetofly7 said...
Feb. 4, 2011 at 9:50 am
Ooh :DD beautiful awesome description there...
 
yaispretty replied...
Oct. 31, 2011 at 5:32 pm
it was pretty good i wouldnt say it was "beautiful" id say it was pretty and descriptive.
 
TheOcherousRodentia said...
Aug. 23, 2010 at 9:24 am
Simply Wondrous! You are so descriptive, and imaginative, I especiall love the way you used capitals to emphasize certain lines ! Keep on writing!
 
Sabrinahco said...
Mar. 3, 2010 at 6:30 pm
This is really good!
I love how many words you used to describe things. The glassy eyes part was my favorite. Keep writing! (:
 
sasssgirrrl22 said...
Dec. 20, 2009 at 12:57 pm
agree with aleece. amazing descriptionz
 
Aleece said...
Nov. 3, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Wow, this is good. I love it! That's some really intense figurative language!
 
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