Hello there. Are you scared, little shadow?
I guess you should be. I’ve blocked you out for a long time now. Years. You’ve always been there, you and your companions. You’ve always lurked at the very edges of my thoughts, clinging to the outside.
I guess we have something in common then.
I know I shouldn’t let you in. That’s what they all tell me. Don’t let the shadows in. Keep them outside. Keep your head up. Keep the darkness at bay. Don’t let the others see what’s circling your mind, like vultures around a carcass.
Be happy, goddammit. It’s not that hard.
But you guys look so lonely. I’m sure you want friends to play with. I might walk to the gates, play with the lock. I’m not sure if I’ll open it yet.
You guys are little snakes, aren’t you? Just holding the forbidden apple in front of my nose, hoping I’ll take a bite?
Maybe it’s stupid, but I think I’ll take the bite.
No, no, no, no. I can’t take the bite. I’m not stupid. I won’t let the darkness in. I need to hold onto the light. The light is my essence, it’s my soul, it’s everything that makes me happy. Happy.
Oh, I’m sorry. Did I scare you, little shadow? I guess I got off topic there for a minute. You don’t look that bad. You’re just showing me the truth about myself. The truth that the others are too polite to show me. I don’t need false courtesy. I’d rather take the ugly truth. The world is not beautiful.
I might take my key out, show it to you. Whoa, don’t be so anxious for a peek. I’ll let you in, probably. You’re not that bad.
IT’S NOT THAT BAD.
YOU’LL GET THROUGH IT.
IT GETS BETTER.
What’s the harm? I’m worthless anyway. You just show me the truth, not the honeyed lies that the others show me. I think I like you.
No, like isn’t the right word. I think I need you. I think you’re the something that I need. I think you’re what I’ve been missing, little shadow. You’re going to pull me out of this pit.
Either that or you’re going to pull me farther in.
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
But is that so bad?
Am I going to die? Oh, you won’t tell me? That’s okay, I guess. I don’t think I care. And if I die, is that so bad?
WHERE THERE’S A WILL, THERE’S A WAY.
Okay, little shadow, I’ll let you in.
I think I should thank you, but I think I’ve forgotten how.