Reading Between The Lines

March 20, 2018
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I  want to h
               eal the hole inside me
I want to sm
ooth down the broken edges that s
                                                     crape against the walls of my chest.
I want
                    to fill
the hole inside me, but the only thing I
                        can find is sor
     row.
Like an
old scar it still hu
   rts
            but will never truly fade
Not e
                                     ver.
                                                              I want to kiss
        the bloo
  died ground where many walked before and they cont
                       inued though their hearts were aching.
Let  me
             Em ulate their foot
                                             steps.
I want to                                                have
          the joy within me
                      which buoyed me up so long ago,
But
       in my head there ar
          e pockets                     of darkness where I can’t
        go now.
          Ca
                 n’t go there anymore.
I want
                    to tell the truth for   ever
                      But the lies
Cling
to my lips and they will not let me speak
                     I want
                to come to earth in a blaze of light, an
angel realized
        But that is simply
                                                                                                          foolishness
I want to hud 
                                                                                         dle under
                          the covers of child
hood, and crawl
                to my mother as I once did when I got
  hurt
B ut I know that it is too
late, and the clothes that
     once fit are now to small
                        I
    want to be elegant,
                                                                                      eloquent,           effortlessly                     perfect
            But  I
                            still have
       the monsters in
  side me,
and when I bu             ry
                                                   them they crawl up from their
  graves,
their eyes burning with
    my
  hatred
                                  I want to
astound.
     I want them to gasp
                                                                                       as I come into the room
But these are only fantasies,                                                                                       to take me away from
              reality.
I want these florid,
                               flowery words to be
true
But my
          pain is much  more human
, much more  simple
,    much  more brutal.
I want to stop
                            the cracks that are
spread
                 ing
through my world.






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