I remember
i don't remember
the day my brother was born
i don't remember
his crying face
as he is swaddled into a blanket
i don't remember
holding his tiny hand
as we drive home
i don't remember
pushing him in a bright red car
as he shouts for me to go faster
i don't remember
helping him to read a book
with a brown bear on the cover
i don't remember
the day he lost his first tooth
or when he started to grow his large curls
i don't remember
i don't remember
i don't remember
i remember
sitting by his head after the worst seizure
begging him to open his eyes
i remember
the day he and my mother
left for a month so he could get some painful surgery
i remember
the day they came home
my little baby brother toddling towards me on shaky legs
i remember
holding him tight while he cries
about a book he didn't want to end
i remember
the feeling of his soft curls
pressed against my face as i held him close
i remember
my tiny helpless 3 year old brother
yelling at the older boys to leave his sister alone
i remember
when he chopped off his beautiful curls
and said they looked babyish
i remember
  when i realized that my little brother
was growing up
i remember
i remember
i remember