Toxic.

The weight on my chest.

The tears.

The pain.

The way they look at me in disgust.

Friends.

They are supposed to be there for you.

But what happens

When they hurt you.

When they weigh you down.

Realization.

A light of hope.

A way out.

A way to leave the pain.

Fear to leave.

Fear to hurt.

Not caring.

Knowing what’s best for myself.

Knowing that I must.

Finding new friends.

Fear that they might do the same.

Finally feeling comfortable and then

falling .

Hurting.

Again.

I miss the friendships I once had.

The toxic friendships that made me hurt.

The people I trusted.

The people I loved as friends.

The people I wanted to laugh with.

I remember

The good times with the toxic friends.

The good memories make me want to stay.

Staying.

Is that best for me?

Am I selfish for just thinking of myself?

Alone.

The people that were there for me before

Are the ones that are causing me

Or caused me pain.

Trust.

Trusting myself to make a choice.

Trusting myself to know myself.

Trusting myself to just know.

Friendship.

Toxic.