Locked in

October 24, 2017

You’ve changed.
Remember how you used to play with me outside on a warm summer day,
Remember how you used to talk to me freely and speak with words of encouragement,
Remember how you used to be calm.

You used to see every day as a new opportunity.

Now life is rage, revenge, and retaliation.
If I try to talk to you only pain, bias, and neglect is heard.
I am forgetting who you used to be.

I fear our discussions,
fear your lies,
fear opening up will only close another door.

You have been locked in an endless world of lies,
Never to find truth again.

You have left me alone,
Alone to fix your worries,
Alone to find peace in a war.
The worst part is I’ve accepted the task.

Emotion envelops me in a whirlwind of confusion.
My life is a dead end quest to find truth in a jumble of arguments.
It isn’t that truth is unwanted,
The truth doesn’t want to be found.

The more I seek for truth to present itself the further it slips away.

I suffer.
Yet as I suffer seeds of opportunity are planted,
Opportunity that will never be fulfilled and cannot grow in this rocky terrain.

It would be wondrous if my opportunities could have a chance to find their soil,
They don’t.
I have thrown hope itself far from my world,
Clinging to an idea that doesn’t belong to me.

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