My soul wretches
I stand myself up and step away
from him,
leaving him
there
on the bed
alone
“I’ll be RIGHT back” I try to say
around my full mouth of throw up
a bruise forming at the back of my throat

Shamefully, to the bathroom
I run
I let it pour into the toilet,
spittle
dripping
onto the rim

I rush
for my toothbrush
forcing
everything to be
ok.

I must fix this.

I run
feeling my way through the dark
living room into the bedroom

He pushes my head away
and lets go of my hair
finished.

Frantically I clean up
the orange-ish spot
I left

“Now my side of the bed is wet”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…I’m sorry”
I’m sorry
I’m sorry

“My friends laughed at you”
he says
…….
…..
…
..
.
My soul wretches