I Can’t Remember

October 15, 2017
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I can’t remember.

I can’t remember a time

When I didn’t love you.

When I wasn’t addicted to your touch

Or the steadiness of your breath

When we sat together

In silence.


I can’t remember a time

When you and I weren’t together.

Hands interlocked,

Gazing at the stars,

Spilling popcorn at the movies,

Doing the stupidest things.


But now, all the good memories are diminishing

And I am left with a gray vacancy.


I can’t remember the sound of your voice.

I used to be able to form sentences

That you never said,

But they sounded so realistic.

Your voice was high-pitched,

But I cannot hear it

Or even picture the words

Departing from your lips.


I can’t remember the color of your eyes.

I mean, I know they were blue.

Or maybe they were green.

But I can’t imagine my pupils

Staring intently into yours-

Black holes.

Were they like the ocean, the sky,

The grass, or the leaves?

I used to be mesmerized by them,

But now, I question their existence.


I can’t remember a time

When you didn’t lie to me,

When you didn’t cause me pain.

You pinky swore

And crossed your heart

Thousands of times.

But I suppose that meant nothing to you.

You told me you loved me

And that I was your everything.

If this was the truth,

Then why did you leave me?

You are my drug:

Causing me more agony than I had

In the first place.


And despite all this,

I can’t remember a time

When I didn’t love you.

I can’t remember.

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