My Minds my worst enemy

Like a burning piece of coal
Piercing through your body's mind
Not a single moment of peace-
When alone is given.
Like a swarm of flies pestering
You until you go insane
Just when you think they're gone-
It's back again as before.
My mind hates me, it's a constant
Reminder of what I've done to myself
And there's nothing I haven't tried.
The mirror is my enemy-
Because when I see my reflection
It's distorted
Like it's not really me I ever see
And beyond what I see is what others
Think, a mindless starvation
Caused by the want to be beautiful.
A bite is like the walk of shame-
Each fractal consumed
Keeps your heart beating
And the blood flowing through your veins.
Yet, will pester you in your mind
Until your hard work pays off
And you're back to the same
Being which you never really were.
it's all in the mind-
Is what they tell you; ignore-
Push back fight and you'll get better.
No it won't because it's
Me. not an outside force forcing
Me to belong nowhere in this pit of hell.
How many more years will this go on
How long until I regain my consciousness
With was taken from me years ago.
The conscious which has been
Brainwashed into thinking
Every morsel which makes up this
Body of mine is wrong.
The distorted conscious which has killed
And killed and killed all hope
Of being seen by the outside world
Again; because in all time
You look back to "happy days"
But all you see is the body-
The body which you've destroyed
And continuously neglect
Through painful stress which burns
But the burn is what your
Mind has been taught to love
And every time you catch glimpse of the past
In the mirror; a wave of self
Loathe washed over the body
Which craves only to be beautiful.
The body - the physical
Which your mind has made a shell
To hide it's fear and self conscious.
You wish to be beautiful but
Nothing will change when
You know your mind will continuous
Push through; it's attempt
To stop the pulsing warmth of life
Because cold is the only sensation
And feeling being craved.
My minds my worst enemy.

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