What Could Have Been (#31)

September 25, 2017

What could have been
long nights beneath the stars
with you
became long nights beneath my ceiling
in a room stripped bare
Where I scream myself awake
from the dreams you take refuge in,
that resurface
more often now
than when we were speaking,
that stay,
no matter how hard I try
to block them out,
that cause me to wake up
three times a night
to barf up an empty stomach,
that make me understand
that things are the way the are
because of me and
“what could have been”
won’t change it.

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