Confused

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They call me a saint. They say i’m noble.
They make it seem like I have no troubles.
They make it seem like I am perfection,
Yet they will never understand my disposition and determinations.
It feels funny,
Walking around in this town.
Like i’m just walking in limbo, unable to understand what surrounds.
They say i’m a blessing. They say they’re thankful.
But at this point,
I just consider them all labels.

Do I feel too much, Do I see too deep?
Is everything around me so explicable except me?
Is my inability to see me for me,
as futile as Sisyphus’s endless struggle to succeed?
Do I think too much? Do I read too deep?
I didn’t realize I would become nihilistic so quickly.
I guess J.Cole really has been getting to me.

I find my own self to be a mystery,
A true phenomenon if you were to ask me.
An anomaly when looking at the grand scheme of things
Similar to the “missing link” or Big Foot,
whichever you understand more clearly.
Unable to tell her, is my biggest trouble.
But I feel as though,
She understands me more than I think.
And this really makes me feel like,
They all know me better than I know myself.
The only question that bothers me,
makes me feel like i’m on a quest.
A quest that i’m on in solitude.
A quest to find out why?
Why am I so confused?

Why am I so confusing to me?
Why is “me, myself and I” so inexplicable to me?
Why does it seem that the limbo I walk in, is seen by others so clearly?
Is it because I search too much?
That I refuse to feign ignorance and use it as a crutch?
Maybe it’s because of the passing of my peers,
Or the fact that I’m too scared to let others near.

I’ll just cover it, like I always do,
Feigning arrogance and confidence,
Like American teens do.
I’ll just cover it, like I always do,
Feigning ignorance and innocence,
Acting like I have no clue.
I’ll just cover it, like I always do.
Feigning happiness and peacefulness,
Like I have a narrow-minded view.
I’ll cover it, like I always do,
I’ll just continue to act as if i’m not
Confused.






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