At 11 years old, I sprained my ankle.
I got to sit out of gym until it healed.
Gradually, I nursed it back to its full strength
time and patience was its shield.
Teachers and administrators understood
bones and muscles needed time to heal,
so what difference is the muscle of a brain
that is forced into a strength not yet grown to feel?
I grew up thinking that “everyone gets nervous
sometimes, just get out there”-
I grew up thinking that what I felt was
normal and fair is fair.
Limbs shaking like electricity,
soaring through my core,
but don't worry, it's only nerves,
never anything more.
Palms perspiring- but cold,
as my lungs clench and gasp
for just one breath of air.Tranquility
a mere inch away from my grasp.
Paralyzed in place, that's okay.
I couldn't move, talk, or hear
but don’t worry, it’s only nerves,
you have nothing to fear.
I cried and questioned and punched-
but … they are right.
It is only nerves,
those bundles of fibers journeying
to transmit sensations to the brain,
when tragedy hits a broken wing.
A colony of meandering nerves,
Making me feel anything-
Making me feel everything,
Wrapping around my bones like a sling.
It will be okay, I remind myself,
like the sweet melody of my favorite song.
My brain, my mind, my selfdom shrine
is mine to care for and nurture until it is strong.
It is not only anything.
those lies are poison in my ears
but I still need not to worry
I'm stronger than the fears.