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it is five in the morning and i have decided to watch the sun come up

the night has been a blur of instagram and elementary season two and “am i depressed quiz”

i have learned that the popsicle diet is a 100% real thing that people do, and that carly has a new piercing and a new boyfriend, and that i may have sociopathic tendencies

but i can’t stop thinking about the movie we watched today during spanish class, and the scene where a soldier’s mouth is sliced open so that his entire left cheek is split apart

i can’t help but wonder where us humans get our self-preservation from

we like to believe that we are superior to animals when in reality all that separates us is a haircut and some s***ty morals

but yesterday i called may a b**** and she hugged me and told me i was going to be okay, and i have counted how many times i’ve referred to myself so far (eleven times)

responsibility makes me want to scream and tear my mattress apart and drop a globe on top of my head but karma is karma is karma and “you’ve got to get into a good college, iris” so i do my work

it’s a shame there’s no more wallowing in self pity

and sylvia, i used to think that your poems were beautiful but dying is not beautiful and your skin is far from a walking miracle you were a walking tragedy before you stuck your head inside that oven

there are children starving in africa- no, really- and families are forced to give up their dreams just because they wear hijabs and worship a different god, and florida is being submerged under dead ice caps but according to our president, global warming is a chinese hoax

and i don’t know what it is but i do know i am trying to say something

our children may not ever know snow






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addictwithapenThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 12 at 7:29 pm
This is great. Excellent. I love it. It’s raw and honest and piercing. The only criticism I have is trivial: when you separate “no, really” from the surrounding sentence, you should use em dashes instead of hyphens. (You can get the em dash by pressing ALT0151 if you’re on Windows.) Keep writing!
 
HereSheIsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 2 at 1:12 pm
AMAZING. Sounds like something that you could publish in the New Yorker. Dark, true, relatable thoughts that flow like someone's mind, and beautiful wording and line breaks
 
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