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help i need help

im poor

and i cant yelp

 

help im struggling alot

i like money and i often sot

 

help it isnt cool

othen then swimming my words in the pool.

 

help it isnt fair

help if you dare

 

HELP!




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makeupartist16 said...
today at 3:22 pm
A few mechanical errors: 1. It is spelled 'sought' 2. A lot is two words. Other: 1. add something after 'i often sought'- What were you looking for? 2. change it to 'my are swimming in the pool' and add a line after it either elaborating on what the pool is or why this is a struggle. 3. It ends sort of abruptly, but it is your prerogative whether wish to add more to the ending.
 
makeupartist16 replied...
today at 3:24 pm
insert words in my second point under other overall great start
 
jp1260This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 30 at 1:30 pm
needs reviews
 
jp1260This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 28 at 2:59 pm
this is a main struggle for me in my life
 
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