Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is your depression speaking.

At this time, your anxiety encourages you to locate all of your emergency exits,
As well as to visualize all of the possible ways you may not make it there in time.

Your obsessive-compulsive tendencies would like to instruct you to fasten your seatbelts,
And to repeatedly make sure they are fastened correctly until the very end of the trip.

Food will be served half an hour after departure,
But self-consciousness and dysphoria will be breathing down your neck for the entirety of the meal.

Instead of making small talk with your fellow passengers,
Social anxiety would like to remind you to imagine confrontations and conversations with them and replay them over and over in your mind.

Thank you for listening, and please enjoy your flight.

We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence
We may be experiencing slight turbulence

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your depression speaking. 
We have now arrived at your destination.

Hope encourages you to fly with us again.