It's Sad.

It’s sad
when
you have spent the past ten days sitting on the couch doing,
well, doing
nothing.

It’s also sad
when
the only calls you have made or received in the past
month
are from or to your
freaking mother.

It’s also sad
when
the happiest thing in your life
is the fact that you might
quit.

smoking, I mean.
and that you have nothing
to look forward to.

except another TV dinner, I mean.

But what’s the worst
is when
you stop knowing
what you’re doing.
You stop acknowledging how sad
it is. And it is. Sad, I mean.