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broken hair ties and grading pens

Words written in red poison over and over and over again.

Why?

How?

How can you possibly call yourself a freak?

I´m astonished.

How can you devalue yourself?

How can you not see yourself for who you truly are?

You're beautiful.

And it's heart wrenching to watch you put a band on your wrist, and read a text saying you've broken just a little bit more. It´s painful to see. Watching this tsunami of depression and anxiety wear you down.

And I feel hopeless. There´s nothing I can do. I don't know how to help. So I end up convincing myself you'd be happier if i go kill myself. That everyone would be happier.

But I'm trying. Because if I think clearly, I know that that's not really what you, or anyone would want. So I try harder. I need to get better. So thank you for inspiring me to keep going. I know it seems like I just want to go commit suicide.

I don't. Not truly. Because of you.


You´re not a freak.

You´re so perfect, albeit broken, that I can't even explain it.

 

How´s that for sappy?




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