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I scare myself sometimes.

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Sharp tendrils of electricity scintillating perversely through my being
A hot fury burns with a copper aftertaste on my tongue
There's the hint of a cold sinking like being submerged in a tank of ice
Deep in my belly, my core the root of this awful arsenal of bad feeling
Knowing to hold it inside, keep it from repeating, a quiet echo from the past
If I touch others they'd shrink back, thinking subconsciously that I've struck them
When all that existed was a light touch on the arm. "Please go away..."
It's a quiet contagion, settled deep in the mind waiting to prey on happiness
The black claw of anxious bitterness wishing all were as miserable as I
The happy deserve to suffer because they live in ignorant bliss unfairly being  given
Everything they've ever wished, loving ever more gently, enjoying life ever more
As those who are betrayed and bedraggled and driven to the point of derangement
Live in a mortal Hell confined by something they can't control, but the happy will never know
They will never feel this sickening pit that threatens to consume the world
And demands fiercely for violent action or angry vindication waiting hungrily
For the day that it's vessel breaks and it can eat whatever happy person stands in it's wake


But maybe that's just me.




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