Trying To Face You

November 21, 2016

I open a jar of music, relax my lungs and catch my breath
Flickering away time as my hand melts to the hurricane
Because in my twisted brain
every piece of music is written about him.

Staring at his back, I’m dust in his steed’s eye. For once,
Can’t I just want something? I’m
Trying to run a race of truth but
the curves keep catching me in lies.
Well, maybe that’s because
my thoughts are hidden eloquences I can’t ever tell.

Finding a way to scream
I tumble, nervous at his feet. I
wish I had a tin can phone so
we could be five million miles apart
as I stutter and wince my way through this.
I’m trying
to speak,
smile, stand, breathe, stay alive,
it’s not really working.
I’ll kneel, helpless,
a victim of captured constellations
and my own shattered heart.

His face is the entire earth at once flooding into my veins.
How did I ever do this in my dreams?

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