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The Wayve

By , Lincoln, NE

And here it is again.

My body goes numb.
Somewhere, somehow
I am lost.
I look at the floor
And the world seems
To spin.
I look back up as if
There is some sort of
hope
But there isn't.
I try hard to not let
A tear fall from my
Face
But my emotions are
Numb.
It's like they've felt this
Feeling one to many
Times.
It's like they know what's
Coming and they're hiding
From the truth.
My fingers begin shaking
I can't help it.
I take a deep breath as
If that will take the
pain away.
As if one breath is going
To play God and kill
My demons.
I tell myself to move.
"Just get up, stupid."
"Just move, for once."
"Pick up your feet and
F***ing walk."
But I can't.
The pain has taken
Over, and there's no
Getting out of it.
It's like a tidal wave the
Size of Mount Rushmore
Just collapsed on top of
Me.
And I just stood there
Watching.
Watching as it took my
Life, sweeping it off its
Feet.
But I didn't move.
It was like my feet were
Glued to the ground.
And I just stood there.
Completely numb.
Seemingly unaffected,
But completely aware.
My body began to tingle.
But I still couldn't move.
I feel my blood rushing.
As my heart beats.
Beats.
Beats.
My feet can't move.
No, I can't move.
I begin to shake.
Violently.
My body looses all
Feeling, although
I was already numb.
It's like my body went
From consciously-
Unconscious to completely
Unconscious.
There was no saving
Me.
My head drops, as my
Eyes close and my hand
Moves up, meeting my
Head before the dead
weight becomes too much.
My hand moves as if it is
The last saving grace. As
If my one hand will save
My life.
But it can't.
Tears begin to well up
In my eyes.
I lose all hope as the
Floodgates for hysteria
Are opened, and out of me
comes tears the size
of the tidal wave that
already took over me.
my hand drops because
there is no way in hell
anything can hold the
weight of my head; a head
filled with so much
melancholy it can’t stand
its own dead weight. 
My head drops down lower
than ever, as tears hit the
floor, cascading down my
cheeks, meandering like a
white-water river, crashing
to the floor. 
I watch.
I watch as the salty-sweet
drops touch the floor,
One by one.
Filing off my face as if they
were meant to do this, as if
every moment in my life
had lead me here. 
Here.
With my head hung so low
it might as well have snapped
off of my neck.
With tears dripping from
my face, their turbulent nature
ceaseless.
With no one there to save me,
but myself. 
With complete numbness
raging through my body. 
Here.
Drowning in a puddle.
The size of a tidal wave.




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