Suicide

November 18, 2016
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Do you know what it’s like to feel beautiful?
To be able to look in the mirror and only see beauty?
Do you know what it’s like to feel brave?
Not afraid of the shadows
Not afraid to go to school
They never knew what that felt like


Do you know what it’s like to feel worthless?
To feel like you don’t belong?
That you're ugly?
Do you know what it’s like to be terrified?
Terrified to go to sleep at night?
To go to school?
To go anywhere public?
They felt that way every day of their lives


Do you know what it’s like to be happy?
To love life?
To want to live?
Do you know what it’s like to be excited?
Be excited to wake up?
Be excited that you're alive?
They never knew what that felt like


Do you know what it’s like to be depressed?
To know true darkness?
To hide your true feelings?
Do you know what it’s like to cry?
To cry and not be able to stop
To not wanna wake up?
To not wanna be alive?
They felt that way every day


Do you know what it’s like to watch death happen?
To see all your friends slowly die
To see them kill themselves
Do you know what depression is?
Because they did


They had depression engraved into their skin
On their wrists and thighs
They had it written on their tear-laced faces
And mascara stained pillow cases
They woke up every day
They Wished, Hoped, Prayed that today would be the day


The day they didn’t have to be scared anymore
They didn’t have to fight to live anymore
The day they can just give up
The day they didn’t have to cry anymore
Because they hoped it’d be over soon


Do you know what suicide is?
Because they did.
And now we do too


Now we’re left to bury their engraved bodies
Left to make sure you can’t see their wrists and thighs
We’re left with new tear-laced faces
Left with our mascara stained pillow cases
We’re left wishing, hoping, praying that we notice the next time


That we won’t let it get that bad the next one
We hope this pain will be over soon
We hope the tears will stop soon
That we might stop trying to figure out why


Why we didn’t know what suicide really meant
So now we ask you
Do you know what suicide is?






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