good enough
How I gave you everything, every possible thing you could want
How I gave you everything I had, everything I could possibly give you
How I pulled your weight and mine
How I dragged you when I had to
How I put everything I could into us
How I won’t tell you how much you f***ed me up
How I won’t tell you that I still wake in the middle of the night, covered in a sheen sweat
How I won’t tell you that I still cry after all this time
How I won’t say how much you hurt me
How much the sound of your name burns like acid
How much the thought of you throws a tidal wave of nausea over my entire being
How I won’t tell You how much blood spilled over, my own hands because of the pain you caused
How now the mark you left me with is both physical and mental
How I know you were sick and can’t remember any of it now and I don’t have the balls to tell you what you did
How I can’t still hear the swears and insults echoing in my head still knives being thrown at me after all this time
How I can still feel the ground underneath me rug burn searing from the sudden fall
How I can still feel the tears welling in my eyes willing myself to not break down in front of all of our friends
How after all of this time after all I gave you after all of the pain I still feel just as I did because I suppose I was never good enough, not for you