The One Way Street

September 30, 2016
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The one way street
I sensed danger in the way she looked at me, I never fathomed her interest would slowly fade away,
I wonder if it was in the way I talked.
Did I really bore her? I asked myself. I had struggled to keep her attention alive,
But to no avail. She must be an iron hearted woman. Even a dumb machine could notice,
How could my efforts slip away unnoticed. It was as if… I had lost it. Clearly, I had a lack of game. Truth be told, women are fascinating creatures…hmm…or maybe we all are.
Her eyes held a fixed gaze, not to me, but to her gadget, I felt really furious.
How could she? After a whole week of incessant visits, unpicked calls and un-replied texts.
She must really have had a heart.
But why? Was I not handsome enough, no one has ever commented on my ugliness, in fact, some lassie next door said I looked handsome, especially my silhouette in the evenings—made me look like an angel.
I have a perfect muscular build, and athletic body, pretty brown eyes, darkish features, and a freakish grin.
She looked at me with a look that says “assuring” or “get out of here”. It was hard to understand. She continued to gaze, hoping I would spill all the shenanigans I had planned.
I was confident that this was love at first sight, no doubt though.
I kept reassuring myself this, from the first time I ran into her, but hers was a little different.
This was a regular Joe, who was nothing but a bother.
All those nights that preceded that day, were more of a special moment to me.
It’s like you get immersed into a world where, momentarily, you don’t care at all about everything, all you see is her.
Her features become permanently imprinted on your cerebral cortex, flashes of her face come through your mind speedily, and you can think of nothing else but her. Yes, it is the strength of a woman.
As these fantasies flare through your head, you are convinced that it is just to hold on a little more to her, with the hope of her finally accepting you. But all in vain.
Maybe It’s her past or albeit my persistence, she wants time to herself, but why does she not notice me. Even after losing contact with her, voluntarily, I still think about her.
I have the feeling of being her protector, her shoulder to lean on, and her world.
Albeit my hope to still hold on, my love for her was like a one way street.
A single alley that led to zero interest in me. ‘Wow’ did I just admit that?
Yeah, she had zero interest, she just looked at me and began to walk away.
In a split second, I had to make a move. It had been several weeks, and this was my moment
I had to prove myself worthy of her affection.
A sort of clinginess for her emerged, I thought of holding her hand, but I couldn’t
I tried to fumble words like, “Bu…u…” I couldn’t finish the phrase, it was too late. She was already gone. She got away, the flashy images of her began to blur… all was left was a tiny silhouette, a figure of a being, growing darker and darker.
It was the last I saw of her. But memories of her still linger in my head.
All my thoughts filled with the dream of her sudden text, or call, but hey, my thoughts were never rewarded. She never communicated.
All I received were un-replied texts again, until I was too tired.
In my head is an imprint of that final day we parted, her last words, “I’m busy… ”
The sudden outburst of emotive sensations created a form of adrenaline that filled my body vividly, I felt scared, and brave at the same time. I had lost all hope of love, I thought myself as not worthy of being loved again.
“Kudos!” for her, she had finally succeeded in breaking me to pieces.
My heart is now broken.
As I continue to live my life, I hope time will heal my scar, and slowly fade away my feelings for her.
Sometimes it’s hard to recover from an accident when you fall for someone who does not feel the same way.
Copyright, Gerry Dreamer Ventures, 2016

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